Personal Growth and Transformation

Just recently, I started panicking again because no matter how hard I tried, for 2 months I wasn’t able to find a job, excluding banquet serving but I refuse to do that again.

In the past 2 years I’ve always hit rock bottom and could only look to God for help. The more my bank account depleted itself the more feverishly I’d pray for help. I’d do energy work and write affirmations. I’d search online constantly for jobs that suited my temperament. I’d clean my room (throw out the old and make space for the new.) I’d try to align my beliefs of why I would want a new job (you know why) and try to make that take precedence over why I didn’t want to work, because those are the subconscious beliefs that are quietly keeping things from manifesting in your life. And I had numerous ones, such as I didn’t want to wake up early in the mornings, I didn’t think I’d find a job I liked, on and on.

Finally, a beautiful decree for abundance popped into my head that I used to recite out of a little book. This decree, which is more a command to the universe rather than a prayer, has always given me hope and grounded me in spiritual energy. It goes like this:(repeated 3-10x)

I Am Free from fear and doubt
Casting want and misery out
Knowing now all good supply
Ever comes from Realms on High
I am the Hand of Gods own Fortune
Flooding Forth the Treasures of Light
Now recieving Full Abundance
To Supply Each Need of Life!

Afterwards I got on the affirmation train and wrote out a couple of ones tailored to my situation and belief system, utilizing the Power of Intention:

I Am Now Flowing in Sync with the Creative Powers of the Universe
The Universe is Supporting Me in All My Desires and Intentions, for the Good of All Concerned, and we work together in Divine Right Timing and Divine Harmony.
Abundance, Prosperity, Love, and Joy is flowing to Me Easily Now.
I set forth the Powerful Intention today of Anchoring my Mind, Body, and Spirit into Guiding me towards the Fulfillment of my Purpose and Potential.
I easily release all that do not serve me anymore
Everyday I Am being Completely Healed of all blocks to Pure Self-love and Passionate Energy

and so on; you need to write ones that hold true for yourself.

The next day (after cleaning my room once again) I called back about a job position that I had interviewed for at a Health and Vitamin store, positive that I had gotten the gig. Then the manager said that corporate office didn’t want to take 2 months to train someone who was only going to work part-time come fall; they wanted a full-time applicant. I WAS CRUSHED!!!! I thought I was perfect for the position, it was only 2 blocks away, and I killed the interview…I fell apart because I didn’t think that I would be able to afford to go to school anymore, even with a student line of credit, because I had too many bills and didn’t want to go even more into debt. It really broke my heart to think that I had moved all the way from another country just to go back to school and it wasn’t going to happen.

But something in me snapped, and it’s called resilience. Or a fighting spirit. I spent the next 2 hours sending my resume and skills assessment results to various staffing agencies and ads posted on Kajiji; determined to find work. I also started researching alternative healing classes in the city, once again, because there was no way I was going to stay in the city and not get some education.

I then stumbled onto a website which talks about Theta Healing, and you can check out the videos about it on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utE9bCnMWJs
after that part 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EibwlNQKiU&feature=related
and then the follow up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aHmKH5_bLk

Theta Healing fascinated me, even though I had something similar done to me back home with no result. I was drugged up on allergy meds at the time and spent the whole session struggling to stay conscious.

I started researching Theta Healers in my city and found a website about a college dedicated to the healing arts, one which I’d never heard about before. They offer the very programs that I’ve been interested in for a while, such as energy healing, a holistic practioner certificate, and a life coaching certificate. As a bonus, the classes have an ongoing enrollment and are held frequently throughout the year, so you could study most of it at your own pace. I  decided that if I didn’t get my grant for my other school, then I would go here. Then my mom called and I talked to her about my financial woes. Its a popular topic of conversation for us.

Later on, drained from an afternoon of crying then job-hunting, I joined my roommate downstairs to watch the umpteenth episode of So You Think You Can Dance! when the mail came in. And in the mail was a check for $10,660 to pay for school from the gov’t; I’d recieved the whole grant! Called my mom back immediately.

The next day I got 3 calls about the job positions I applied for, and I’m going on interviews tomorrow. I’ve also realized how important it is for me to integrate a spiritual practice into my life, because without it I feel lost and hopeless and not in charge of my life. So this morning I sat down with a large starter mug of Yerba Mate, my post-its laden with affirmations, a single candle, and relaxed to the tune of one of my favourite Disney songs:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cA9yJBslOU

Wish me luck with the job-hunting; I’m fired up and Inspired